Third Parties & Why They Stick Around

One of the most popular posts on this blog is this one. It’s a post about third parties and why they don’t actually matter. Ever since I posted that, I haven’t really been talking about third parties. I received many questions and requests in the meantime but I haven’t really seen any reason to talk about the third parties. Today’s post is merely a reminder to all of our readers that the third parties don’t matter but this time I will focus more on the question that I am receiving a lot lately: why is this third party still in the picture?!

When we are still asleep and we don’t know what we are doing because we are unaware of the fact that our thoughts create our reality, it is very easy to get caught up in our fears. One of the most common fears after the breakup is the fear of the third party. If you are persistently telling yourself that your SP will probably move on and date somebody else, it is just bound to happen. It may look like that is what would have happened anyway, but it really isn’t so. It’s because you were telling yourself a story based on your own fear.

When you start disciplining your mind, the first thing that you learn is that whatever you focus on is what appears in your physical reality. This is true. Where does this leave the third parties? It leaves them among the things that you aren’t supposed to be focusing on. I have created a third party myself and I know that this advice to just ignore it can seem to be… Hard to accomplish. But, it’s just something you have to understand: you get what you focus on persistently, which means that this works the other way around as well, or in other words, when you remove your attention from something, it must go away.

But, what are third parties? In my first post about the third parties I have told you that they are merely your insecurities and fears pushed out. However… Let’s look at it in more detail. The third party is not just your insecurities pushed out. It’s not just your fears pushed out. It’s the story you are telling yourself about the third party that is being pushed out. The third party got into the picture because of your fears and insecurities. But, if they are sticking around and won’t go anywhere, it is a sure sign that you are also persisting in telling yourself a story about their existence.

Many times people will tell me stories and ask, “I did all these meditations and affirmations but the third party is still there, is this even working?” A stubborn third party is your stubborn persistence in the story about there being a third party in the first place. Third parties are the same as anything else: STORIES! Listen to yourself when you are thinking about a third party. What are you thinking?

  • That they won’t go away no matter what you are doing?
  • That they are a better match for your SP because they have bigger boobs or some other silly reason?
  • That they have free will and they are resisting your attempts to get rid of them?
  • That they are your SP’s soulmate and they seem to be getting closer and closer each day?
  • That your SP’s friends and family prefer the third party?
  • That your SP keeps uploading pictures of the third party onto their social media?
  • That the third party exists at all?

If you are telling yourself any of these things, stop it. I don’t care what your circumstances are. I don’t care what you think this third party is representing. I don’t care how long they’ve been together. I don’t care if they are married. I don’t care if they left you because of this third party. I don’t care if the third party is your mom’s cousin twice removed. I don’t care about any of these silly circumstances. All I care about is that you understand that the third party can’t go away while you are giving it attention.

I am not saying that I don’t care in order to be mean. I am saying I don’t care because neither should you. We tell you that circumstances don’t matter. With the third party, people tend to get lost in their stories about the current circumstances. WELL, THEY DON’T MATTER! THIRD PARTY IS NOT A SPECIAL SITUATION THAT REQUIRES SPECIAL TECHNIQUES AND SPECIAL TREATMENT! It’s a situation like any other. And just like you would “get rid” of anything else in your life, you can get rid of a third party.

So, to be blunt and get straight to the point again: the only reason the third party is still there is because you won’t stop telling yourself the story about there being a third party. Do you get it now? It doesn’t matter if the third party has been here for 2 days or 2 years. The only reason they are here is because you acknowledge that they are here.

What would be some practical steps to get rid of a third party? Here are some ideas and some things that have helped me get rid of the third party as well as my friends who applied Neville’s teachings in their situations.

  • If your SP is posting pictures with a third party, avoid the social media. The third party doesn’t exist. If you do happen to stumble upon some unwanted pictures, tell yourself that these are old pictures and this relationship no longer exists. Tell yourself you were successful in manifesting the third party out of the picture AND manifesting your person back!
  • If you are seeing your SP with a third party, start telling yourself that they are just friends. Revise whatever you are seeing in your physical reality. Reject it and replace it with a better scenario.
  • If you are finding yourself having thoughts about the third party and your SP, flip them around. There really is no other way to go about it. You will have to go on a mental diet.
  • As issagoodsoup said in her last post, you can also use revision. If your mental diet is not making you feel better and you just can’t get to the point where you are able to focus on something else, knowing that your SP is yours and the third party is gone, revise ever hearing or seeing that there was a third party.
  • Utilize “I remember when” technique to remind yourself that the third party is the thing of the past. I swear by this technique because it helped me get rid of a third party in 3 days. It helps you create a feeling that your current circumstances are nothing but a distant memory. However, don’t forget to add in there that you already are with your person. You are remembering when they were with this other person but now they are with you.

However, I do think it’s important to stress out that the only reason I have given you these suggestions is to help you get to the point where you can forget about the third party and ignore it. At the end of the day, you want to reach a point where you are capable of focusing on your and your SP’s relationship without thinking of there even being a possibility of a third party’s existence.


Decide now that this situation will change. Decide that you are rejecting anything and everything that has something to do with a third party. The only possibility you accept is you and your SP in a committed relationship, with no drama involved whatsoever. I believe in you and I know you can do it. Do you know how? Because you have persisted for so long in a story that there is a third party… This is how I know that you can persist in the story that you are the only one for your SP!

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I am a Neville student who enjoys sharing her own experiences and interpretations. My main goal is to help others understand Neville's teachings and how life-changing they can be.
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